Sex is great and we all love to do it, but sometimes we get stuck in a bedroom rut that no amount of hugging, kissing and humping can get us out of. Fortunately you’re not alone – it can be super-easy to fall into a routine that takes some of the spontaneous excitement out of our favorite intimate past time. So to take some of the pressure off; we’ve compiled a list of quick and easy tip to help freshen up your love life fast. And you can try some of them tonight!
1. Switch Positions
Certain sexual positions feel better than others and oftentimes we tend to stick with the ones that we’re most confident with. Whatever the reason – maybe we like the way our bodies look in doggy style or we know that missionary gives us guaranteed orgasms – doing it the same way over and over can simply leave us wanting more.
We’re not talking trying a pretzel-like yoga position or trying every page out of the Kama Sutra, but even adding a simple position that you don’t usually try can bring enough variety to your sex session to amp up the intimacy.
So think about your routine. Is it missionary, spooning, then finishing on top? Or starting on top and finishing doggy? (Or is it missionary all the way every day?) Change the pattern and incorporate something you typically skip – you never know what a little spontaneity might do for your (or your partner’s) excitement level!
2. Do It Someplace New
We all know that sex typically happens in bed. (We hear some people even sleep there, too!) But what would happen if you laid down a blanket on the bathroom floor or used your (clean) kitchen table as a stage?
There’s something intensely erotic about doing the deed in unconventional places, but that doesn’t mean you have to think TOO far outside of the box. Subtle changes like doing it in front of a mirror or propping yourself up against the kitchen counter can be enough to feel like you’re banging for the first time.
Different surfaces, different sights, different scents – almost every sense gets triggered and inspired when you’re having sex in a new part of the house, so no need to pump yourself up about getting it on in public. That can come later, once you’re a little more comfortable with the idea, but keep in mind that it’s not exactly legal. So don’t tell anyone we told you to try it. [wink wink]
3. Try a Sex Toy
Sex toys are incredible sexual enhancers that can stimulate parts of the body that fingers, hands and other body parts simply can’t. Sex toys are new territory for some people and may be a bit intimidating at first, but fortunately there’s a plethora of products made for couples to enjoy together that enhance the experience for both. (Sex toys can actually make it easier for men and women to have orgasms – sometimes for the very first time!)
Vibrating rings and vibrating erection rings (also known as cock rings) are great for helping prevent premature ejaculation and helping him last longer during sex. The vibrating motor stimulates her clitoris at the same time so she can get closer to orgasm while he stays nice and hard.
Mini vibes and massagers are perfect additions to certain sex positions where some clitoral vibration can help her reach orgasm. Finger vibes are easy to use and don’t get in the way, while wand massagers and bigger vibrators can be a little bulky but help get the job done with much more power.
And there are all kinds of more advanced sex toys you can test out, too, like feather ticklers, anal plugs and sexy bondage gear as seen in Fifty Shades of Grey. So start with some beginner-level toys and work your way up to the big leagues – the journey will be super-fun and super-sexy, plus you and your partner will build even stronger intimacy along the way!
4. Role Play
This is a classic tip, but sometimes roleplaying can feel a little overwhelming to those of us who might be a little shy. So start simple – don’t worry about costumes and don’t try to pretend you’re some flirty cocktail waitress or suave piano man picking up a “stranger” at the bar.
Start by testing out a different technique – maybe you’re usually passive and let your partner make most of the moves. Make your mindset, “I know what I want, and all I want is YOU” and give your partner a thrill. (Just make sure you two talk about the idea first so you’re both on the same page!) Take charge and see how it feels to be a tad dominant.
Or try spending a night together where intercourse isn’t an option. Like you’ve just met and want to save the official “deed” for a special night. This will let you both get creative with pleasuring each other in ways that often can be forgotten when you’re so focused on the final “goal.” Touching, caressing, licking, cuddling – enjoy each other like you’ve only been dating for a week or two and see what kind of spark you might re-ignite.
We take sex SO SERIOUSLY sometimes, to the point of almost forgetting to have FUN. And there are all kinds of understandable reasons for it – pressure to please, pressure to perform, self-consciousness and insecurity. We’ve all felt at least one (if not all) of those at some point while naked with a partner. But if you both can remember (and communicate) that you’re in it together as a team, you’ll find the stress and anxiety melt away and possibly even replaced with comfort and closeness.
Believe it or not, there’s a good chance that your partner is feeling the same way you are, so once you share what’s on your mind, you can embark on an entirely new journey together. And if something gets bumped, pinched, knocked over or super messy, all you need to do is laugh together. Because it’s not the end of the world; these kinds of snafus and unexpected events often can help make your sexual experiences unique and special – nothing like that fake stuff you see in the movies!
Have suggestions not listed? Share your tips on how to revive a boring sex life!