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Overcoming the Bedroom Blues: Sex Hacks for Better Quality Sex

Maintaining a healthy, active sex life is important for many reasons. Not only can it be beneficial for your health and personal well-being, but it also can be valuable for your intimate relationships when it comes to keeping the spark alive. After you’ve been with someone for some time, it’s common to lose that initial passion you once felt for each other. It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost feelings for each other altogether, but rather, it means that your sexual drive is no longer at its peak. Fortunately, there are still several ways for you and your partner to overcome the bedroom blues.

Here are four sex hacks to try for better quality sex:

Use Sex Toys

Sex toys are often thought to be a tool you use when you’re getting jiggy with it solo style. Contrary to this belief, sex toys are a fun way to strengthen your intimate relations with your partner during sex. Beyond the fact that it adds some creativity and innovation in the bedroom, it also alleviates performance pressure for you and your partner. No matter how giving your partner may be in the bedroom, orgasming can be hard to accomplish, especially for females. In fact, according to the Kinsey Institute, 70% of women cannot orgasm with intercourse alone and need to engage in other sexual acts that involve a more direct approach to clitoral stimulation. The Charged Ohare is a great way for couples to introduce clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Bullets are also an excellent option to integrate clitoral stimulating vibration during sex.


Before you get your groove on with your partner, you must take time exploring your own body to figure out what makes you feel good. Self-pleasure can be an effective outlet for both genders, but for women specifically, masturbating is a great way to learn about your body’s responses to different stimuli. Unlike males, females are more likely to struggle to achieve an orgasm during intercourse for reasons like vaginal pain, reduced sexual desire, or difficulty in becoming sexually aroused. And while self-play serves as a great starting point to uncover orgasm obstacles, sometimes the issue requires a more substantial solution—especially if it originates from a sexual dysfunction disorder.  If this does end up being an area of concern, medications like Addyi may help you reclaim your sex drive and obtain that much-desired orgasm.

If you’ve never masturbated before, start slow when experimenting. Try to stay open-minded throughout this time and not take anything too seriously. Once you’ve become more sexually-confident, think about spicing things up during sex by masturbating in front of your partner. This will help to add some extra arousal during sex and will clearly illustrate to your partner exactly how you want to be touched.

Try New Sex Positions

Trying new sex positions is a basic, yet exciting way to improve your sex life as it allows you to keep things fresh and exciting in the bedroom, while also enhancing your performance. Different positions mean different responses triggered in the body, so whichever sex move you try, make sure that you pay close attention to you and your partner’s reaction. Depending on the position, it may be easier for you or your partner to reach climax quicker. Keep in mind, though, that everyone’s bodies are unique and diverse from one another. What may feel great for you, may not be as pleasurable for your partner, which is why you must be mindful of how they’re responding to distinct positions and adjust for each other accordingly. Remember that you want this to be an experience you both enjoy.

Lube, Lube, & More Lube

Whether you’re trying out sex toys, masturbating, or new sex positions during intercourse, using lube is an essential component to have on-hand. They help you and your partner balance comfort with pleasure by reducing the friction between skin and whatever object, person, or body part you may be using. However, the type of lubricant you pick should be determined by your intended purpose. For a longer session, think about purchasing a silicone-based lube as it’s designed to be slippery and long-lasting. Or, if your searching for a lubricant for masturbating, penetrative sex, or water foreplay, try to buy an oil-based lube for a more slippery feel. For more information on how to pick a lubricant, click here.